I can write a million blog posts, essays in my head but it seems that the words escape me once I sit down. Maybe its because I have a million things on my mind, maybe its because I over consider who my audience may be. For this post I am just going to write some stuff.
1) a} I have never thrown my 2cents in the ring but the shootings of young black men by officers and civilians is concerning. What’s worse is all the people that “justify” it by saying the young men shouldn’t have done one thing or another. I cant think of a case where the victim was armed, yet every perpetrator felt they needed to shoot to protect their life. What does this really say about how white Americans view young black men, how much personal knowledge do the majority of whites have about blacks? Too many media images portray us in the worst possible ways. I am a black person, born into and raised in a low income neighborhood and I can honestly say, I don’t know anyone that acts like the folks on TV. Yet strangers expect me to know the latest and hottest rap song, its assumed that I have multiple children by multiple men, that I am a first generation college graduate, the list goes on. I am willing to say that the young victims may have been making some mistakes, most young people do but I cant see where any of them deserved to die.
b}It is different to be black in America, the more people can accept that the faster we can get that fixed. I know so many people just want to say that black people need to act better but until you’ve been black in America or had to stand by a black man through everyday life you don’t get to judge what should be done different.
2) Most people would assume I agree with their politics, most people would be wrong. When voting I vote for the person I think will best represent me. Sometimes that’s a republican, sometimes its a democrat. While I’m all for my taxes dollars helping the needy I believe a few of those dollars need to go to educating them on how to improve their quality of life over time. These classes should be mandatory. Having to get food assistance because its been a bad couple of years is one thing, having it for 20 years when you have no physical or mental barriers to “moving up” in the world, baffles me.
3) I really want to have a baby, that’s no secret. And at this stage in my life I think I would be even more appreciative than if I had had them early. Being up with a child in the middle of the night you know that one day they are going to be older, stronger more independent. You cry when they are screaming at 2am because you want to sleep and you don’t know how to make them stop because they cant talk to you. I’ve never done that with children of my own obviously but on the flip side of that is taking care of an elderly parent. You cry because you know that there is no magic pill that will make this all better tomorrow, this is the decline, it could all be over tomorrow. I’ve done so much I never thought I would have to and one night sat in the floor with my grandmother and cried because “I couldn’t help her”, she told me not to cry it would be alright but she doesn’t even remember that night happened. I’m glad of that, it was horrible.
4) I had my first and hopefully only experience with a police officer last weekend. He was a jerk. He wanted to take me to a hospital to do a scan because he insisted I was carrying drugs on my person. He said to me “…I am 100% sure you are carrying something, I don’t know what it is but I know you have something…” I told him “You can be 100% sure about whatever you are 100% sure about but I am 100% positive of the opposite”. The story goes on but it gives me a headache, I just hope I never have to experience that again.