2015 was a year of emotion. As you all know it started out heavy with my grandmother dying and me privately suffering through it all. Etched in my brain is the hug I gave my grandmother right before she stopped talking, she was lying in her hospital bed, I laid across her and told her I loved her, not expecting her to say anything back when she whispered, I love you too. I laid there and cried I knew we were at the end. She patted my back; the moment was just so sweet. That’s the way I remember my grandmother, the way I will always remember her, she loved me too.
In the time that followed I grieved hard. Lots of tears, lots of pain, lots of not knowing what was next for me. I had to reorder my entire life. Granny was such a large part of who I was and what I was doing. I had defined myself through my role in her life and without her I was lost. I spent the summer doing things I thought I may like. I found out I love yoga and I like pottery so long as I do not feel obligated to create something. Sometimes it’s enough just to move the clay around. In the fall I began to focus on work and think about moving. I realized I really love what I do, I empower people, I help individuals find the means to a better life.
In the winter I plan to begin taking courses toward a graduate degree in Human Resources Management. With the knowledge and skills I earn from my studies I will work as an employment consultant in a staffing agency, as a corporate recruiter then eventually begin my own staffing agency. I will continue to empower.
Aside from settling on a career, I put more new windows in my house this year, only four left to replace. I also came up with a five year plan to pay off the mortgage, a new design for the kitchen and a plan for the dining room. Remodel will begin in the spring.
I’ve met some really great people this year co-workers, friends and clients. I include friends in this list because I have been more open in relationships this year and as a result I’ve learned more about the people I already knew I loved. People at all levels of life are pretty awesome; they all need to be given a chance. Also, with no details to be given, I have loved foolishly but purposefully this year. No clue why but all things happen for a reason, we don’t always get to know the reason and I am ok if I don’t see the end result of what my care and concern for another person produces. More empowering of people.
This year has been bittersweet. I still and probably always will cry when I think of granny I miss her. Her laugh, smile, sassiness. However, I also found new parts of me, for that I am excited. In 2016 I’ll see where that goes.