Do you have a safe place to stay tonight?
I ask that question a few times a day. As a society we put a lot of thought into physical safety. Doctors ask if the patient feels safe at home, there are an abundance of signs and warning labels, telling us how to walk on ice, use every day products. However, we don’t give nearly as much attention to emotional safety. We don’t ask if people have someone trusted they can talk to. So many are holding in emotional pain, they are sad, angry, depressed but they put on their game face and tell the world they are ok. We celebrate being strong, “They are so brave”, society says as an individual is hurting inside. We encourage unquestioned acceptance, “Everything happens for a reason”. No one is ever given permission to say, “I don’t like this.”, “Life is not fair.”, “I think I may be depressed.” These statements are met with unsolicited advice not a listening ear. The hearer dismisses the pain because we are not to be weak, for some reason feelings are perceived as weak, we are to be strong, forgetting the events of yesterday, treating them as if years have gone passed and we have had time to heal.
Healing does not come until we are honest about our feelings. Not until we feel free enough to say; I am depressed. I feel like I have lost my mother three times. Once when she died, again when my father died and lastly when my grandmother died; can we heal.